Storytelling through travel, with Alicia Warner

Alicia Warner is a photographer, filmmaker, illustrator, fitness fanatic and big time foodie. A Thai-Antiguan Londoner, she has called the UK, Thailand and the Maldives her home at different times in her life.

Now London based after eight years away, she spoke with Mai-Anh Peterson on storytelling, identity, travelling while Black and everything in between.

Image: Alicia Warner

MAP

You’re a half Antiguan, half Thai creative storyteller from London, but you’ve also lived in Thailand and the Maldives. I'd love to know what it was like as somebody who was raised in the UK, going to live in Thailand and connecting with your identity.

AW 

I initially moved there with the plan to get to know my roots. I'd always thought, ‘I'm a terrible half Thai, I can't speak Thai’. I had the basics and my tonality when I spoke wasn't that bad, but it wasn't fluent. So I said, ‘Life is unique. I'm going and I'm going to go for a year.’  

I ended up staying for about six years.  I have an apartment there and I'm still very connected to Thailand. I got there and didn't have a job, so I thought I’d just try and wing it!

This next story might paint a negative picture of Thailand, but I think it also paints a realistic one. 

When I first got there, I applied for a teaching job.  They asked me to do a practice lesson. The potential employer said ‘You did great, but you maybe speak a little bit fast.’ I started to say ‘Okay, I have been told that-’ when she said:

‘Also, we prefer the white face.’ 

While I thought to myself ‘Oh dear...this is a good start,’ I also understood that she had zero malice in her tone and zero malice in her approach. If you tell that story to anyone that lives in a really multi-ethnic country, they may say ‘That's disgusting’, but for me, I walked away reflecting on the situation: that's how she perceives her business. They make more money by attracting people who believe white people are connected to the English language.

There were a few setbacks in the early days but as I continued living there, I just loved it. I learned a lot more Thai and I travelled loads; the country is beautiful. The food is wicked. But yes, undeniably there were some strange conversations. I’d get into a taxi and it would go like this:

Driver: Are you Thai?

Me: No

Driver: Why do you speak Thai?

Me: My mum is Thai.

Driver Okay, why are you Black?

...and so on.

Some conversations led to people even saying ‘but there are no Black people in England.’ 

For me it was an overall interesting exploration into Thai people’s relationship with different races in a kind of pure, ignorant way - I mean, all racism starts with ignorance, right? I think we both know that there is both anti-Blackness and ignorance around Blackness in a lot of Asian countries. It’s just a case of getting to know people who are different.

Image: Alicia Warner

MAP

Do you think that discourse in Thailand is changing? Especially with younger generations who have more access to social media, which is becoming an amazing platform for education, learning and a kind of global solidarity. Do you think that people are realizing that, actually, you can have Black Thai people? That there are Black people from the UK who are not African, and so on?

AW

Yes, massively.  Actually, there have been quite a few people that have found a kind of celebrity status through social media with things exactly like that - who are mixed black and Thai, who live in Thailand and speak Thai.

So it’s perfect because then they have the means to communicate and say, ‘Hey, I represent a minority, but we're here.’ A lot of them are half African, which doesn't change the whole ‘UK doesn't have Black people’ thing, but at least it does show that the mix is there.

A lot of them are half South African, half Nigerian, and they're makeup artists or models, or have other careers. There's not many that I know of in politics or anywhere where they'll effect much change but at least on the general social level of understanding, that’s happening. There are also Black hairdressers in Thailand now, so that's amazing!

MAP

Have you had similar opportunities to connect with your Antiguan heritage?

AW

Quite interesting you say that, because I felt like I did that in Thailand. Because I look the way that I do, I ended up making quite a lot of Black friends who had similar experiences; there was an instant connection and understanding.

In terms of actively living in Antigua, probably not, but I feel really connected because my auntie and family on that side were in London. It was easier. I was partly raised by my grandmother, who was really close to us, and I always saw my grandmother's brothers and sisters and my dad's cousin, so it felt more like I had that family foundation. That's why I felt I needed to ‘add the Thai connection on top.’

MAP

You said something that made me think about imposter syndrome and how people from mixed ethnicities often feel like they don't quite belong when they're in the country they grew up in, but then often move to another country to try and connect with their heritage, and find that they don't 100% fit in there either. And that is okay, of course. But it does lead to a whole load of mixed feelings and confusion, especially when you're growing up. How would you say that your identity has changed over the years?

AW

I just say I'm all the identities. I will just claim absolutely all of them. I'm quite happy to say I am a Brit, I’m Black, I’m half Antiguan, half Thai, that I also lived in Scotland...I'm going to claim every single bit.

It’s like that Taiye Selasi TedTalk…

...ask not ‘Where are you from?’ but ask ‘Where are you local?’

I'm just more grounded than I was when I was a kid.  And each of the areas I know, I don't feel fazed by not necessarily totally fitting in to any of them. I like to play the role in the link. I just say ‘Okay, I'm going to take this part of that culture, because I like it, and then weave it in with that one, because I like that.’

In terms of living in Thailand, and not being accepted as a Thai, I suppose I didn't expect it to be to the extent that it was, but I don’t think of it with any hard feelings. I don't know if it's because of my personality: I just feel that as an individual, I'm not going to change the whole country. But the experiences that I have with individuals: that I have more control over.

MAP

That’s amazing. I think that it will be really great and positive and affirming for other people who perhaps don't yet feel as grounded or have struggled with their identity to hear you say that because these are the kind of questions that people with mixed heritage or who grew up as a minority have. So it's great to assert that you can reclaim all of these different identities and never have to fit neatly in one box. Ultimately what you have is a resulting thing that's actually really unique and amazing, and that you can celebrate.  

AW

The problem lies with how people perceive you. They want to put you in that box. 

I remember one of my mates at school one day said, ‘Sometimes I forget you’re Black.’ I've also had the question ‘If you had to decide, which side would you choose to be on?’ 

They need to wake up and open their eyes. 

I navigate this world conscious of how I represent and the way that I look and ensuring that people’s experience with me leaves a mark on their memory. 

So they think ‘Oh okay, so other people who look like this can be like that too.’ 

But that can be a bit tiring because I don't always want to be chipper and lovely.

There have been times where I just haven't been in the mood. I think I was in Vietnam and a little girl ran out to me and I was in a queue, I was travelling through an airport. She said ‘can I take a picture with you?’ And normally I’d say it was fine but this time I just felt like ‘no.’ I saw her face and I broke her heart, but I couldn't do it. 

We can't be responsible for other people's stuff. You need to look after yourself sometimes.   

MAP

You’re a filmmaker, photographer, illustrator, traveller and all-round badass creative. Tell me a bit about what you do in your creative life.

AW

I've been in the photography/filmmaking game now for the past four years. I freelanced for a bit and then I landed a job in the Maldives, with a luxury resort called Soneva, doing crazy shoots underwater with celebrities, some documentaries and short films about all of the Michelin star chefs that we had on the island. It was a really special time. I could really get creative with the job and I loved it. I love telling people’s stories. I think one of my favourite parts of filmmaking and photography is capturing people and making them happy, but also capturing the underdogs. So actually my favorite part of that job wasn't necessarily celebrities or high profile people, it was, for example, the bicycle man who was 70 years old.  We used to do yoga together!  He didn't really speak English, but I liked just capturing his essence. So that's kind of my work. 

Image: Alicia Warner

With illustration, I wanted to be an animator when I was younger, and then illustration kind of fell back into my life over the past few years. I've always liked to create. I guess I just love making nothing into something. 

MAP

Amazing. And I think anybody who knows you also knows that you're never seen without a camera in your hand.

AW

I’m that annoying friend who takes pictures of everything!

I didn’t have particular interests or influences there, but what I think I've actually learned, mainly from living with my mum again, is that we just love capturing moments. Yes, you want to live the moment, but at the end of the day, memory fades and you want to be able to look back and be like, ‘Oh, this was awesome’. And it's especially come up since, sadly, with my grandmother passing, we've been able to look back at photos, and just see all these magical shared moments. So yes, I think I was that annoying friend; it's always just been really fun to capture the essence of parties, celebrations, even simple walks. Just absolutely anything. I love it, basically. 

I think that storytelling (particularly for kids from different ethnic backgrounds growing up in different places), becomes a really important fabric of your cultural identity.

It was quite sad when my nan died and I asked for pictures of her when she was really young and it was impossible. They didn't have a camera, they couldn’t afford one. So to be part of the generation where we have the means to capture our experience, I think it's something that we're definitely going to value as we get older.

Image: Alicia Warner

MAP

Why do you think you like the ‘fly on the wall’ element of storytelling so much?

AW

I think part of it is the fact that, as a kid, I was quite shy. The camera allows me to step back and just observe by looking through the lens. I recently visited a friend, and I got to shoot him with his kids and them just doing their thing, just being together, no pose. The pose is just life. Because I think life, as it is, is already beautiful. So I don't need to be in a studio or anything like that. 

In Thailand, during the political coup that happened while I was living there, it was cool just to walk through the streets and see all of these Thai armies, covered head to toe in Thai colors and waving flags and wearing these ridiculous glasses.  Capturing them like that, it was amazing.

MAP

I need to ask you something that’s become a really polarizing debate among our community - so think carefully about your answer...

AW 

You’re going to ask me about rice or noodles aren’t you?!

MAP

Yes I am.

AW

Honestly, the fact that you're making me do this should terminate our friendship! 

But I will have to go with rice. We're a big rice family, and I don't think I could do without that fragrance of jasmine rice permeating through the house. Thai desserts often have rice in them. It figures a lot in Antiguan food as well!  Rice and peas.

Thai food covers every flavour profile.  You’ve got your sweets, you’ve got your spices, you’ve got your warming. Then West Indian food has so much variety throughout the different parts, Antigua, Jamaica, Barbados… I’m hungry now!

Image: Alicia Warner

Alicia Warner is a London based Thai-Antiguan photographer, filmmaker, illustrator and fitness fanatic. You can find her on Instagram: @wanderliss_, her illustrations on @il.liss.strate and her website: https://www.aliciawarner.com